Monday, June 13, 2011

Troubleshooting: How to install Love


Tech Support: Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?

Customer: Well, I’ve been having glitches and difficulties, and I’ve been strongly advised to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: I’m not very technical, but I’ll give it a try. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your heart drive. Have you located your heart drive ma’am?

Customer: Yes, but wait – several other programs are running right now. Is it okay to install Love while they’re running?

Tech Support: Which programs are running?

Customer: Let’s see…Past-Hurt, Low-Self-Image, Grudge, and Resentment at the moment.

Tech Support: Love will gradually erase past-Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low-Self-Image with a module of its own, called Self-Acceptance. However, you will have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. These programs prevent Love form being installed properly. Can you turn those off, ma’am?

Customer: I don’t know how. Can you explain?

Tech Support: Yes. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. You may have to perform the operation repeatedly before Grudge and resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, the process is underway – Love has started installing itself. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you only have the base program. You will need to begin connecting to others’ hearts in order to get needed upgrades.

Customer: Okay, I understand. Hey – my heart drive is up with new files already!

Tech Support: Good. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin to patch faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Self-Criticism form all directories and empty your recycle bin to make sure it’s not only completely gone but also never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Smile is playing on my monitor, and peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over my heart drive. Is this normal?

Tech Support: It happens sometimes, yes. Sometimes it takes a while, but eventually everything gets downloaded. So Love is installed and running? One more thing, then, before we hung up: Love is freeware. It was purchased for you many, many years ago. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return cool modules back to you.

Customer: I will do just that. By the way, what’s your name?

Tech Support: Call me the Divine Cardiologist, the Great Physician, or just “I AM”. Most people feel all they need is an annual checkup to stay heart-healthy; but the manufacturer (Me) suggests a daily maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency on the heart drive. Please contact Me any time for any reason.

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